I often get asked why we chose to homeschool our children and the answer isn’t what most would expect and has a winding path. When I was pregnant with my first, 7 short years ago, I never expected to quit my career as a nurse. I never expected to be a stay-at-home mom, I never envisioned this life that we live, but God planted a seed, and my journey to letting that seed grow took years.
Once our son was born, I knew I would not be able to return to work. I always thought my calling was to be a nurse, help people, be a patient advocate, it is what I had always dreamed of. But the second that little boy was born my world changed forever. This was my true calling. The seed was planted and sprouting.
I returned to work only to put my notice in and my new “job” was mom, although I always felt the need to contribute to my family financially, I tried several ways to contribute. I had this grand idea of starting an in-home daycare (not the grandest of ideas). Then I was offered a work from home nursing position, and it flopped as well because it required traveling, next was working out of the home a couple days a week, but I was always called back to just be home. I wasn’t letting that seed grow.
Homeschooling was laid on my heart the moment I became a mother and as our son was growing, I always had a “dream” of homeschooling. I constantly hushed that dream because it wasn’t socially acceptable. I quieted the calling. We had our daughter 2 years later and now our family was complete. Again, after 4 months I thought I needed to contribute financially and returned to work outside of the home for a couple days a week. Once again, I was called back to just be home.
Since it was a societal norm, we enrolled our son into a private preschool, and he attended 3-year-old preschool. I absolutely loved this school; the staff was amazing and took great care of him. The problem is, he was immediately labeled with a speech-delay and had an IEP. My son is shy, timid, and self-conscious. We both have separation anxiety and drop off was a nightmare. There were tears every single day. As the year went on, drop off became easier, but caused so much anxiety for the both of us. He was learning, he was making friends, but we both dreaded it. Why is it expected to force our babies into this? He finished up the year and started 4-year-old preschool the next year – until the pandemic hit. That is when our story really begins…
We were on vacation in Florida visiting Disney World making all the memories and we received the news that the pandemic was officially here. We headed back to Iowa. Schools were closing. Well, you know how the events took place. This is when the seed sprouted and sprung up through the earth.
In all the panic, anxious thoughts about the state of the world, I prayed. I prayed for our health, our family, our children, our path, our journey. This is when I felt convicted to answer the calling. You see, God was calling me the entire time. He is always talking to us; it is whether we choose to listen. I chose to listen. He was saying “you are to be a mother, you are to homeschool, you are to cultivate and educate your children, this is your job.” I was quieting that calling for a long time, but now I felt this strong conviction and knew what I was meant to do. This is God’s plan for me.
He assured me that once I became a mother that was my calling, my new career if you will. I may have tried to veer from that calling and it resulted in severe anxiety and internal battles until it all clicked. I was now to pour my heart and soul into being mom and educator. Once I chose to listen, I knew the answer was clear. This is our story. This is our season.
I discussed the idea of homeschooling with my husband, and he was fully on board. My husband is pretty amazing, he knows I have all these grand ideas, and once I commit there’s no stopping me. So, we then were officially a homeschool family. I started my research right away. I researched day and night. I was finally finding my way. I reached out to a dear friend who has many years experience in homeschooling. I notified the school and filed IPI. I found the curriculum we loved. Our homeschool journey had officially started!
I have never felt so much peace. I have never second-guessed my decision to homeschool, but daily I find myself with intruding thoughts of “Am I a good mom?”, “Am I doing this right?”, “Am I doing enough?”, but why? Why as moms do we feel the need to validate our thoughts, feelings, actions, or decisions? This is God’s plan. I am serving him. He is guiding us. We are following his path. Let go and let God. Listen. God will always provide. Let the spiritual seed grow into a beautiful garden.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
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